tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post5918700108123798675..comments2023-07-26T04:49:55.342-05:00Comments on Journey of a Soul Searcher: Rough patchMadison Sonnier http://www.blogger.com/profile/17689138122547284808noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-9222917265882608072014-05-31T14:33:59.692-05:002014-05-31T14:33:59.692-05:00Thank you Aidan! Thank you Aidan! Madison Sonnier https://www.blogger.com/profile/17689138122547284808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-23645856822042591622014-05-30T20:16:05.692-05:002014-05-30T20:16:05.692-05:00I related to this post so much! I've been work...I related to this post so much! I've been working at this job as a graphic designer for about 4 months now, and I struggle almost everyday with not feeling good enough, and thinking everyone around me is doing 100x better or getting far more work done. It's gotten to the point where I'm developing anxiety. Sometimes thinking if graphic design is even the right career choice for me. Creativity is a stubborn thing. It does help to know that I'm not the only one going through these struggles, as I often feel alone and my thoughts get the best of me. I enjoyed reading your blog, and look up to your writing skills, as mine are lacking! haha Keep up the writing. Aidanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16423823024177539255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-38157062074318227572014-05-20T10:19:11.043-05:002014-05-20T10:19:11.043-05:00Hi! This is probably one of the greatest comments ...Hi! This is probably one of the greatest comments I've ever gotten. We are kindred spirits indeed. :-) <br /><br />I'm not entirely sure if I'm INFP, but I AM an introvert---a living, breathing definition of one. <br /><br />It's so nice to know I'm not alone in the fears and struggles that come along with wanting to be a writer. I also think homelessness would be better than selling my life to a cubicle. People must think I'm crazy, but like I said in my post, if I can't be a writer, I don't really want to be anything. I'm stupidly stubborn when it comes to wanting what I want. I don't settle for less, and that can be both a good thing and a bad thing---a good thing because it means I'm staying true to what makes me happy, but a bad thing because staying true to what makes me happy could mean living under a bridge or eating Kraft macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haha. You know? <br /><br />I am also more drawn to creative writing and honest, personal writing. I guess I just haven't found my place in this pool of writers yet. I aimlessly jump from low-paying, boring freelance gig to low-paying, boring freelance gig and then feel bewildered when it doesn't get me anywhere. Not ALL my work is low-paying and boring, but some of it has been. I definitely feel that creative people are underappreciated and have to fight tooth and nail to prove themselves before anyone takes them seriously. It's hard to keep a thick skin. <br /><br />Thank you again for your comment. I resonated with pretty much every word of it, and I'd be happy to commiserate with you over the no-so-great aspects of being a struggling creative in the future.<br /><br />I will check out your blog!<br /><br /><3 Madison Madison Sonnier https://www.blogger.com/profile/17689138122547284808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-87164998695432882952014-05-20T00:44:46.027-05:002014-05-20T00:44:46.027-05:00Hello!
I just stumbled onto your blog after readin...Hello!<br />I just stumbled onto your blog after reading one of your posts on Tiny Buddha, but I feel like we are kindred spirits already. I hope that doesn't sound too presumptuous, but I relate to your situation completely and utterly. Are you by any chance an INFP? You sound like one. I am an INFP, and the daily struggles with reality are excruciating. Oh, I also ramble a good deal. I have a blog of my own where I just spew what I believe to be convoluted nonsense. I'm not here to advertise my blog or anything, I just thought you might relate to some of my posts as well seeing as yours resonated so well with me...oh, I lost my train of thought, what was I trying to say? Right. Writing. I love writing too. It IS my purpose. Like you, deep in my heart, I know nothing will make me happy and more fulfilled that writing. It's just a feeling, a sense of harmony. When I read, when I write, I feel happy. I'm still in school at the moment, so I haven't entered the workplace, but I'm terrified. I've majored in English, which, as you probably know, is hardly the most practical degree to get in this economy. I want to become a freelance writer as well, but the fear of a lack of job security holds me back. My passion is also creative writing, rather than the usual freelance articles and whatnot, so I sometimes feel like I'm destined to become a starving artist. I could just imagine myself joining some hippie, homeless community and spending my days reading and writing in the public library and then shuffling off to the shelters to dream away the terrible nights. But I'm too soft and cowardly to ever truly land myself in such a position. I never grew up with much money, and my parents are still struggling financially; it makes me feel like I should act responsible and help them, you know? Even though it goes against the grain of my soul. Anyway. I haven't figured it out yet, either. And, sometimes, I feel like homelessness would be the better option compared to selling my life to a cubicle stall or some other horrible job which I know I will loathe, especially if it involves a good deal of interpersonal contact (I am an EXTREME introvert). I'm also really sensitive and don't mesh well with people in general, they hurt me without knowing they have; and just being around people puts me on edge and makes me tense, so that barricades a good deal of careers. And then all the careers which are introvert friendly, like accountancy or computer science, I loathe, because they're so hard, cold and technical. I'm babbling, aren't I? I guess I'm just trying to convey my sympathy. I really feel you, I feel like I am you, because we're so similar; and I know that must be weird, considering I don't know you except through mere text. But I do know. It's just a feeling, an immediate kinship. Um. I wish I knew how to end this properly. I guess I just wish people like you existed in my everyday life, so we could go out and pet cats and smell flowers and muse about life and lament our writing woes. Okay. Time-out. Thanks for reading this far. :) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-6176524483284054032014-05-12T10:55:31.466-05:002014-05-12T10:55:31.466-05:00Just being honest, no need to thank. ;)(:Just being honest, no need to thank. ;)(:Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-40016482386651784262014-05-12T10:14:05.971-05:002014-05-12T10:14:05.971-05:00Thank you for your comment. I relate to what you s...Thank you for your comment. I relate to what you said about wondering if it's pointless to even try getting by as an artist. I recently read somewhere that it's good to do what you love, but that you don't always have to do it for a living. It scared me because I knew it was true and really started to wonder if I will ever be able to pull off being a writer for a living or if it will forever be a side gig. I guess only time, hard work, and a hell of a lot of self-belief will tell...<br /><br />But best of luck to you! I know that move must have been tough. Madison Sonnier https://www.blogger.com/profile/17689138122547284808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-58522535868668268282014-05-12T01:37:23.164-05:002014-05-12T01:37:23.164-05:00So...this. My life circumstances changed last yea...So...this. My life circumstances changed last year when my family moved from California to Texas. I no longer have to work in my "safe" profession, and am trying to earn money as an artist. When I'm creating is the only time I actually feel good, versus just "getting by", yet there are times I'm so terrified that my work sucks, that no one likes it, that it's pointless to try, that I, too, become frozen. My lifelong battle with bipolar disorder doesn't help, but that's another thing I usually keep tucked away because I, too, am so preoccupied with appearances. I can't say anything other than to say you are not alone, if I'm understanding you at all. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10562269497064881891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-29338659492243316382014-05-11T10:32:42.800-05:002014-05-11T10:32:42.800-05:00Sharath! I've missed you.
Thank you so much. ...Sharath! I've missed you.<br /><br />Thank you so much. This is incredibly kind and encouraging. :-) Madison Sonnier https://www.blogger.com/profile/17689138122547284808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-36033753934186171272014-05-11T10:23:05.125-05:002014-05-11T10:23:05.125-05:00Hey Madison, You rock! It's part of life which...Hey Madison, You rock! It's part of life which everyone has to go through. Nobody teaches about following our dreams as its just presupposed onto us. It's great to know that you are mature enough to think long term on your own rather than society forcing it upon you and which most of us are even scared to think about. You are really brave and I am pretty sure you will be flying by it with undaunted determination.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-14486688995732222952014-05-08T13:49:19.253-05:002014-05-08T13:49:19.253-05:00Thank you Cel. You are wonderful. :-) I was really...Thank you Cel. You are wonderful. :-) I was really worried about posting this and a small part of me wants to take it down out of fear that future potential employers will read it and think I lack drive and confidence. But I think I will leave it alone because whenever I write what I'm truly feeling, people seem to connect with it more. Unfiltered honesty is a rare thing in the "blogosphere."<br /><br />I know I will find my way again too. Sometimes we just need to take a step back. Whenever I get the sense that I'm doing something wrong or inauthentic, it's essential for me to slow down and find what's missing. I know I'm not delusional because I truly feel like writing is my purpose. Nothing else makes sense to me. Maybe I will eventually get somewhere! <br /><br />Thanks for reading, and you can contact me anytime about your own journey to feeling good enough. :-) Madison Sonnier https://www.blogger.com/profile/17689138122547284808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082159757107106731.post-25250685904345325722014-05-07T08:00:59.631-05:002014-05-07T08:00:59.631-05:00"What if I'm NOT good enough?" I rel..."What if I'm NOT good enough?" I relate to that SO much. I'm a culinary student, doing fantastically at school while I study for this new career... and yet I am constantly terrified that I will not be good enough and that I won't be able to make it in this industry. I got a job running a small kitchen at a youth camp this summer, and thinking about it I flip flop between excitement and terror that I won't be able to do it. Maybe this is just normal? Maybe we're just supposed to feel all awkward and confused at this stage in our lives? I think you do well not to sugarcoat, I like what you post here because it's real and it's true. You'll find yourself and your inner fire again, I know you will :)Celhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17871879969054133260noreply@blogger.com