I have a confession to make, mostly for myself. I want to write it down and see it in front of me so I can stop trying to convince myself that it's not true.
One of my biggest fears is being judged. I don't like how criticism makes me feel and it very negatively affected me for a long time. It consumed me. It still does sometimes.
I guess it all started when a girl I played with on the playground every day in fifth grade kinda sorta told me to go away and stop hanging around. When you're ten years old, that's an ouch. This ostracization got even worse in middle school. I sat at lunch every day with a group of girls who clearly did not want me around, but I sat with them anyway and ate my lunch in silence while they ignored me.
This need to feel accepted and this fear of being judged has sort of followed me around for as long as I can remember. It's like a scar that will always be there.
But here's the good news. I stay true to myself and live the life I want in spite of it.
Don't get me wrong. It wasn't always that way. My immediate reaction to criticism used to be to change whatever it was that I was being criticized for. It made me completely miserable and I soon decided that I was going to stop doing that to myself.
If someone tells me that my hair looks bad when it's parted down the middle, I'm not going to rush to the nearest mirror and style it differently.
If someone tells me that my boobs are too small, I'm not going to rush to the nearest plastic surgeon and have them enhanced.
If someone tells me that I'm too meek and quiet, I'm not going to rush to the nearest microphone stand and give a speech.
If someone tells me that I should be a pharmacist instead of a writer, I'm not going to rush to the nearest pharmaceutical training school and sign up.
So yes. I have a fear of being judged. But I live in spite of that fear and at the end of the day, I still have a clear focus on who I am and what I want.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Perfectionism is exhausting
I have to credit Brooke White (Season 7 American Idol contestant) for the title of this post. A few weeks ago, she tweeted, "Perfectionism is exhausting. Let go." And it came at just the right time and I haven't been a crazy, rip-my-hair-out perfectionist ever since.
I just submitted my next article and it didn't take me twelve million years to write it and edit it before sending it in. Usually, whenever I start on a new project, my inner critic immediately jumps in and says, "Psh. They're gonna reject you. You're not good enough to write for THAT website." And it leaves me questioning my worth as a writer. I feel the need to write, re-write, perfect, and over-perfect, and edit it at least fifteen times before biting my lip as I hit "send."
I did this before submitting my Tiny Buddha article. I kept telling myself that something was missing. That I could do better. That it was lame. That it was going to get rejected.
The very next day, I had an email from Lori Deschene (Founder of Tiny Buddha) saying that it was wonderful and that she would be honored to publish it. When it was posted on the site, people wrote to me for two straight weeks with their wonderful comments. And to think that I thought it wasn't good enough.
So today, if you're feeling overwhelmed or not good enough and you feel the need to drive yourself bananas with perfectionism, loosen up and cut yourself some slack instead. You're enough just the way you are and people will appreciate you for it.
<3 Madison
I just submitted my next article and it didn't take me twelve million years to write it and edit it before sending it in. Usually, whenever I start on a new project, my inner critic immediately jumps in and says, "Psh. They're gonna reject you. You're not good enough to write for THAT website." And it leaves me questioning my worth as a writer. I feel the need to write, re-write, perfect, and over-perfect, and edit it at least fifteen times before biting my lip as I hit "send."
I did this before submitting my Tiny Buddha article. I kept telling myself that something was missing. That I could do better. That it was lame. That it was going to get rejected.
The very next day, I had an email from Lori Deschene (Founder of Tiny Buddha) saying that it was wonderful and that she would be honored to publish it. When it was posted on the site, people wrote to me for two straight weeks with their wonderful comments. And to think that I thought it wasn't good enough.
So today, if you're feeling overwhelmed or not good enough and you feel the need to drive yourself bananas with perfectionism, loosen up and cut yourself some slack instead. You're enough just the way you are and people will appreciate you for it.
<3 Madison
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
The top ten women who inspire me
Girls rule. Ever since I was little, I loved the phrase "girl power" and I used it all the time. I really like people (both women AND men) who aspire to inspire before they expire. I want to list the top ten women who have had the most positive impact on me. These are the women that I look up to.
10. Ke$ha. It bothers me when people say that all Ke$ha cares about is drinking and partying. There is so much more to her than that whether you want to believe it or not. She cares about people and thinks everyone should be treated with respect regardless of race, gender, sexuality, etc. She's an animal rights activist. She encourages people to unapologetically be themselves and break society's rules. She kinda does whatever she wants however she wants whenever she wants and gives the middle finger to anyone who has anything to say about it. She's strong, brave, and thinks life itself should be one big party.
9. Skylar Grey. The thing that I admire the most about Skylar Grey is that she blatantly refused to give up on the one and only thing she wanted the most. A music career. She was asked in an interview what she would rather do if she wasn't doing music and her response was "Die." The music industry sent her spiraling into depression at one point, and she still didn't throw in the towel. She took some time off, lived in seclusion, put her life and career into perspective, worked on making more music, and then she put herself back out there again. That one thing that was the main cause of her pain was the one thing that she fought for over and over again. She didn't have a plan B and refused to come up with one. I don't think that's stubborn. I admire people like that a lot. People who refuse to settle for anything less than that one thing that makes them happy---the one thing that makes sense. And Skylar has since worked with some major names in the music business and will be releasing an album soon. Persistence pays off.
8. Avril Lavigne. I've loved Avril since her "Sk8er Boi" days. She is such a unique artist and I love how she's not afraid to evolve, whether it be her look or her music. She's honest and true to herself. I remember that her record company tried to get her to go for a pop, dance kind of sound for her 4th album because that's what would sell. Avril refused. She fought to make a raw, stripped down, personal album because that was the kind of album that SHE wanted to make. And the album is amazing, by the way. I personally think raw, personal music is better than all the catchy pop songs you hear on the radio. WAY better.
7. Shannon Kaiser. As most of you may know, Shannon let me interview her awhile back. (http://journeyofasoulsearcher.blogspot.com/2011/10/finding-your-happy-shannon-kaiser.html) She seriously has no idea how much I admire her. We have both kind of been in the same boat as far as being in a position in life that made us uncomfortable and unhappy. And then we both pursued our real passion, which is writing. I think this is why I relate to her so much. And now she shares her story of how she pulled herself out of depression and found the courage and passion to go after what she really wanted. She genuinely wants to help other people do the same.
6. Rachael Ray. I watch Rachael's show half because watching people cook is strangely therapeutic and half because her enthusiasm is contagious. She's always smiling and laughing and dancing around. She's so full of love and life and just really seems like an incredible person. (And an incredible cook. Duh.) She inspires me because she's so NICE to everybody and because I can't help but be drawn to people who always have a smile on their face. She's adorable. The end.
5. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen inspires me to not take life or myself too seriously. We both agree that the simple things in life are the greatest things in life. And if you're not smiling and laughing everyday, something isn't right. I love Ellen. I don't really see how it's humanly possible to NOT love her.
4. Keltie Colleen. This chick is amazing. Let's see...Dancer, blogger, author, fashion designer, entertainment news reporter, love & life guru, fashion guru, life enthusiast. I think that's about everything. Keltie never settles. She's always adding more things to her bucket list and she's passionate about inspiring other people to do the same. She has taught me a lot. She's so honest too. If she's having a crappy day, she's not afraid to say it. And when she's having a wonderful day, she passes her good mood on to others. She gives great advice too. And she's true to herself. Damn. I can't gush enough about Keltie.
3. Lori Deschene. Founder of http://tinybuddha.com/. The website that has gotten me out of so many ruts. I really relate to and feel inspired by Lori. She's so positive, honest, insightful, and kind. She genuinely cares about the Tiny Buddha community and couldn't care less about how many page views she gets or how many Twitter followers she has. She's grateful and honored for all of that, of course, but her main focus in running Tiny Buddha is to help people. I read some of her blog posts sometimes and think, "Has this chick been stalking my life and reading my journal?" I recently learned, thanks to her, that I'm not the only person who carries on conversations with myself in my head. She calls it "internal monologue." I was so pleased to hear that I'm not the only person who talks to myself in my mind.
2. Taylor Swift. I can't make a list of inspiring women without putting Taylor Swift on that list. Do I even really need to explain this one? I have learned so much about life, love, and myself just by listening to her music. She's so relevant. And she has accomplished so many incredible things and she's only one person. Like...Does she sleep? Oh right, she stays up writing songs at 3 in the morning. Nevermind. Taylor is brave, passionate, classy, humble, and loving. I am honestly just so proud of her and can't wait to see what she does next.
1. Christina Perri. I'll try not to stay here all day. Okay, so...a little over a year ago, my life was pointless. I woke up every single morning feeling like there was absolutely no reason for me to get up and face life. I was searching for happiness in all the wrong places, all the while failing to realize that it all starts with your attitude and your outlook on life and yourself. I don't remember exactly what it was that Christina said or exactly what it was that Christina did, but something changed one day. Something shifted. The bigger a fan I became, the more my life started to get better. I could write an essay on everything that Christina has taught me. When I was in a dark hole, she tossed me a rope. She didn't pull me out, but I was able to slowly and gradually pull MYSELF out. And I haven't been the same ever since. I know for a fact that Christina crossed my path for a reason. I had epic life realization after epic life realization just by reading her blog posts, hearing what she had to say in interviews, and listening to her music. I can't even begin to explain how she makes me feel about life and myself. This blog and all the positive messages I share on it would not exist if it wasn't for her. I wouldn't be happy again if it wasn't for her. I wouldn't have blocked out the voices of other people and started listening to my own inner voice if it wasn't for her. I hope I get to thank her in person one day.
10. Ke$ha. It bothers me when people say that all Ke$ha cares about is drinking and partying. There is so much more to her than that whether you want to believe it or not. She cares about people and thinks everyone should be treated with respect regardless of race, gender, sexuality, etc. She's an animal rights activist. She encourages people to unapologetically be themselves and break society's rules. She kinda does whatever she wants however she wants whenever she wants and gives the middle finger to anyone who has anything to say about it. She's strong, brave, and thinks life itself should be one big party.
9. Skylar Grey. The thing that I admire the most about Skylar Grey is that she blatantly refused to give up on the one and only thing she wanted the most. A music career. She was asked in an interview what she would rather do if she wasn't doing music and her response was "Die." The music industry sent her spiraling into depression at one point, and she still didn't throw in the towel. She took some time off, lived in seclusion, put her life and career into perspective, worked on making more music, and then she put herself back out there again. That one thing that was the main cause of her pain was the one thing that she fought for over and over again. She didn't have a plan B and refused to come up with one. I don't think that's stubborn. I admire people like that a lot. People who refuse to settle for anything less than that one thing that makes them happy---the one thing that makes sense. And Skylar has since worked with some major names in the music business and will be releasing an album soon. Persistence pays off.
8. Avril Lavigne. I've loved Avril since her "Sk8er Boi" days. She is such a unique artist and I love how she's not afraid to evolve, whether it be her look or her music. She's honest and true to herself. I remember that her record company tried to get her to go for a pop, dance kind of sound for her 4th album because that's what would sell. Avril refused. She fought to make a raw, stripped down, personal album because that was the kind of album that SHE wanted to make. And the album is amazing, by the way. I personally think raw, personal music is better than all the catchy pop songs you hear on the radio. WAY better.
7. Shannon Kaiser. As most of you may know, Shannon let me interview her awhile back. (http://journeyofasoulsearcher.blogspot.com/2011/10/finding-your-happy-shannon-kaiser.html) She seriously has no idea how much I admire her. We have both kind of been in the same boat as far as being in a position in life that made us uncomfortable and unhappy. And then we both pursued our real passion, which is writing. I think this is why I relate to her so much. And now she shares her story of how she pulled herself out of depression and found the courage and passion to go after what she really wanted. She genuinely wants to help other people do the same.
6. Rachael Ray. I watch Rachael's show half because watching people cook is strangely therapeutic and half because her enthusiasm is contagious. She's always smiling and laughing and dancing around. She's so full of love and life and just really seems like an incredible person. (And an incredible cook. Duh.) She inspires me because she's so NICE to everybody and because I can't help but be drawn to people who always have a smile on their face. She's adorable. The end.
5. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen inspires me to not take life or myself too seriously. We both agree that the simple things in life are the greatest things in life. And if you're not smiling and laughing everyday, something isn't right. I love Ellen. I don't really see how it's humanly possible to NOT love her.
4. Keltie Colleen. This chick is amazing. Let's see...Dancer, blogger, author, fashion designer, entertainment news reporter, love & life guru, fashion guru, life enthusiast. I think that's about everything. Keltie never settles. She's always adding more things to her bucket list and she's passionate about inspiring other people to do the same. She has taught me a lot. She's so honest too. If she's having a crappy day, she's not afraid to say it. And when she's having a wonderful day, she passes her good mood on to others. She gives great advice too. And she's true to herself. Damn. I can't gush enough about Keltie.
3. Lori Deschene. Founder of http://tinybuddha.com/. The website that has gotten me out of so many ruts. I really relate to and feel inspired by Lori. She's so positive, honest, insightful, and kind. She genuinely cares about the Tiny Buddha community and couldn't care less about how many page views she gets or how many Twitter followers she has. She's grateful and honored for all of that, of course, but her main focus in running Tiny Buddha is to help people. I read some of her blog posts sometimes and think, "Has this chick been stalking my life and reading my journal?" I recently learned, thanks to her, that I'm not the only person who carries on conversations with myself in my head. She calls it "internal monologue." I was so pleased to hear that I'm not the only person who talks to myself in my mind.
2. Taylor Swift. I can't make a list of inspiring women without putting Taylor Swift on that list. Do I even really need to explain this one? I have learned so much about life, love, and myself just by listening to her music. She's so relevant. And she has accomplished so many incredible things and she's only one person. Like...Does she sleep? Oh right, she stays up writing songs at 3 in the morning. Nevermind. Taylor is brave, passionate, classy, humble, and loving. I am honestly just so proud of her and can't wait to see what she does next.
1. Christina Perri. I'll try not to stay here all day. Okay, so...a little over a year ago, my life was pointless. I woke up every single morning feeling like there was absolutely no reason for me to get up and face life. I was searching for happiness in all the wrong places, all the while failing to realize that it all starts with your attitude and your outlook on life and yourself. I don't remember exactly what it was that Christina said or exactly what it was that Christina did, but something changed one day. Something shifted. The bigger a fan I became, the more my life started to get better. I could write an essay on everything that Christina has taught me. When I was in a dark hole, she tossed me a rope. She didn't pull me out, but I was able to slowly and gradually pull MYSELF out. And I haven't been the same ever since. I know for a fact that Christina crossed my path for a reason. I had epic life realization after epic life realization just by reading her blog posts, hearing what she had to say in interviews, and listening to her music. I can't even begin to explain how she makes me feel about life and myself. This blog and all the positive messages I share on it would not exist if it wasn't for her. I wouldn't be happy again if it wasn't for her. I wouldn't have blocked out the voices of other people and started listening to my own inner voice if it wasn't for her. I hope I get to thank her in person one day.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Goodbye October, Hello November
At the beginning of October, I had this epic feeling that it was going to be a great month. I could feel it in my bones. And I was right.
The weather got cooler, which is awesome because I hate hot weather. October weather is perfect because it's not too hot and it's not too cold. It's just breezy and friendly. I started taking more walks and spending more time outside. Pretty weather puts me in a good mood. So I was basically in an awesome mood all month.
I got published on one of my favorite websites. I've already started working on my NEXT article for the same website because being featured on it was a mini dream come true and the responses blew my mind.
I spent less time alone and more time hanging out with the people who matter the most. I realized this month that love is pretty much the ONLY thing that matters. When you're lying on your death bed, you're going to be thinking about how much you lived and loved while you were alive. Nothing else is going to matter. Not money, not the job you had, not your college degree, not your broken dishwasher, not the mean kids from middle school. I got my priorities straight this month and realized that making memories is more important than making money.
And last night, I saw a movie called October Baby with my mom. It is now my new favorite movie. I laughed, cried (bawled), and felt inspired. The movie is only showing in select theaters right now, but is expected to be released nationwide in Spring 2012. SO GO SEE IT. And please spread the word. http://octoberbabymovie.net/
I hope you all had a happy Halloween and a wonderful October. Hopefully, November will be nice to me too.
<3 Madison
p.s. HAPPY LEFTOVER CANDY DAY :)
The weather got cooler, which is awesome because I hate hot weather. October weather is perfect because it's not too hot and it's not too cold. It's just breezy and friendly. I started taking more walks and spending more time outside. Pretty weather puts me in a good mood. So I was basically in an awesome mood all month.
I got published on one of my favorite websites. I've already started working on my NEXT article for the same website because being featured on it was a mini dream come true and the responses blew my mind.
I spent less time alone and more time hanging out with the people who matter the most. I realized this month that love is pretty much the ONLY thing that matters. When you're lying on your death bed, you're going to be thinking about how much you lived and loved while you were alive. Nothing else is going to matter. Not money, not the job you had, not your college degree, not your broken dishwasher, not the mean kids from middle school. I got my priorities straight this month and realized that making memories is more important than making money.
And last night, I saw a movie called October Baby with my mom. It is now my new favorite movie. I laughed, cried (bawled), and felt inspired. The movie is only showing in select theaters right now, but is expected to be released nationwide in Spring 2012. SO GO SEE IT. And please spread the word. http://octoberbabymovie.net/
I hope you all had a happy Halloween and a wonderful October. Hopefully, November will be nice to me too.
<3 Madison
p.s. HAPPY LEFTOVER CANDY DAY :)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
How was your weekend?
I spent my weekend watching a baby deer drink milk out of a bottle, swinging in a swing that was too small for my 19 year old butt, walking along a dirt road while talking to my younger brother about life, looking through old photos, playing Mexican train, and eating twice as much as I normally eat.
Yep. My brother and I stayed with my grandma this weekend. I used to stay with her all the time, but this weekend was the first time in a long time. I figured it was time to come out of my confined "me" bubble and keep her company like I used to. I got to re-charge on love, peace, and childhood nostalgia.
I hope you all had a lovely weekend.
Yep. My brother and I stayed with my grandma this weekend. I used to stay with her all the time, but this weekend was the first time in a long time. I figured it was time to come out of my confined "me" bubble and keep her company like I used to. I got to re-charge on love, peace, and childhood nostalgia.
I hope you all had a lovely weekend.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Decisions, decisions..
I've been thinking a lot about decisions today and my attitude towards decision-making. One of the biggest and most life changing realizations I've had this year has been "Believe in your decisions and believe in your path." I read that on a blog and I was just like, "Oh my God. This changes everything." And from that day forward, I believed in my decisions and I believed in my path.
In other words, you make the decisions you make for a REASON. If something feels right to you and your gut is saying YES YES YES, then believe in that decision and trust yourself, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it. TRUST YOURSELF. Also, believe in your path. Believe that everything will work out in your favor and that you're in good hands. When you make a decision and it feels right and it feels official, don't question it. Know what you really want. I talked about this in my Tiny Buddha post, but I just wanted to go into a little more detail with this whole decision-making thing.
Usually, I'm a horrible decision maker. Especially when it comes to simple decisions such as, "Should I buy the regular M&Ms or the ones with pretzels in them?" I could literally stand there with both packets of M&Ms in my hands, looking from one to the other while the cashier looks at me, wondering if I'm about to steal them or something. But making decisions should not always be that complicated and I try to tell myself this. Just ask yourself these questions:
What do I REALLY want?
What makes sense or feels right to me?
What is more important to me?
Will I be able to wake up with a smile on my face in the morning if I make this decision?
So, next time you're faced with a difficult decision, whether it's what kind of M&Ms you should buy or what path you should go down in your life, ask yourself those questions.
Today I realized that I am on the right path as of right now and it made me really happy. If I would have listened to everybody else and gone down the path they expected me to go down, I would have missed out on all of the amazing things that have been happening to me lately.
And THAT is incredible to me. THAT proves that the universe always has bigger plans.
In other words, you make the decisions you make for a REASON. If something feels right to you and your gut is saying YES YES YES, then believe in that decision and trust yourself, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it. TRUST YOURSELF. Also, believe in your path. Believe that everything will work out in your favor and that you're in good hands. When you make a decision and it feels right and it feels official, don't question it. Know what you really want. I talked about this in my Tiny Buddha post, but I just wanted to go into a little more detail with this whole decision-making thing.
Usually, I'm a horrible decision maker. Especially when it comes to simple decisions such as, "Should I buy the regular M&Ms or the ones with pretzels in them?" I could literally stand there with both packets of M&Ms in my hands, looking from one to the other while the cashier looks at me, wondering if I'm about to steal them or something. But making decisions should not always be that complicated and I try to tell myself this. Just ask yourself these questions:
What do I REALLY want?
What makes sense or feels right to me?
What is more important to me?
Will I be able to wake up with a smile on my face in the morning if I make this decision?
So, next time you're faced with a difficult decision, whether it's what kind of M&Ms you should buy or what path you should go down in your life, ask yourself those questions.
Today I realized that I am on the right path as of right now and it made me really happy. If I would have listened to everybody else and gone down the path they expected me to go down, I would have missed out on all of the amazing things that have been happening to me lately.
And THAT is incredible to me. THAT proves that the universe always has bigger plans.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Finding Your Happy: Shannon Kaiser interview
As I've said before, I love inspiring people who use their talents to help others. Shannon Kaiser is one of those people. I've never interviewed anyone before, but I've always wanted to. Shannon was nice enough to let me ask her a few questions.
Shannon once followed a career path that she hated. But it wasn't just the ideal "I hate my job" syndrome. It made her feel empty, lost, depressed, and not good enough to break free. She cried all the time and turned to self-abuse and drugs. She felt like a prisoner of her own life. Shannon's true love was writing. She began cheating on her advertising job with writing. (http://www.playwiththeworld.com/?p=656) She had found her real passion, but felt too afraid to leave her secure job and secure paycheck to pursue what truly made her happy.
It was a scary journey for her. But she made it out alive and is now a happy, healthy travel writer.
I'll stop talking (typing) now and share Shannon's interview with you:
Q: At what point did you realize that advertising was not what you really wanted and how did you feel when you realized that? I realized advertising wasn't the best fit for me in 2008 when I was sent oversees to New Zealand for a work assignment by the ad agency I worked for. On that trip, I was so thankful to be in a new country, but the work I was doing felt forced. I couldn't connect with it or the people in the office. I wanted to spend time exploring the country, and that is when I realized my desire for travel writing. At the time, I felt depressed, hopeless, and stuck. It wasn't until I learned that I could change my circumstances that I gained confidence in my dream. But if I were to be honest with myself, even in college when I was pursuing a degree in advertising, I felt a tiny nag that something wasn't quite right.
Q: Most people turn to harmful actions when feeling empty or depressed. Did you ever result to doing anything extremely harmful to numb the pain? Yes, sadly my journey went to some dark places. I ignored my inner voice for so long that I turned to every harmful action possible. I went through periods of trading one addiction for the next. I was a workaholic (70-80 hour work weeks), bulimic, exercise maniac (3-4 hours of exercise a day), sex addict, food addict, and a drug addict. I turned to self-abuse and sabotage because I didn't see a way out. But now I know there is a healthier, happier, and more compassionate way to live. And treating myself the way I did only kept me from getting what I really wanted. But by going through each dark moment, I was able to learn what it really feels like at rock bottom. Now I can relate to people going through the same thing and I can genuinely help them.
Q: What advice do you have for people who genuinely feel like there is no place for them in the world and that they have no real passion? I can relate 100%. I felt this way for the majority of my life. Feeling different from everyone and feeling like I did not belong and that there had to be something more. My advice would be simple. Follow your heart. Remember that you do matter and that you are greatly important. The world needs you and your greatness, so shine your light and trust yourself. Also, recognize fear for what it is. A false indication of reality. Learn to become friends with your fear. When we want something, that little voice comes into our head and says we are not good enough, strong enough, rich enough, etc. It is our duty to say, "Fear, thank you for your contribution, but we are going to bust through because I am good enough, strong enough, and I have everything that I need." Some actual things that helped me were praying and meditation. I asked myself what I valued in life and made a list of my top five values and created a life around those values. This helped me find a place for myself. I started to meet people with the same values.
Q: What is your favorite place that you've traveled to so far and why? I loved Paris because of the food and the self-realization that came from traveling for two weeks in a country where I didn't speak the language. It is a beautiful thing to immerse yourself in the unknown and work your way through getting comfortable. My overall, most memorable experience was Morocco. I ventured into the High Atlas mountains and slept on the sand in the open Sahara Desert. Riding a camel and hanging out with local Berbers drinking mint tea was the most intense evening of my travel life. Seeing people make a life out of nomads through the desert with nothing more than the clothes on their back, but still so much peace and happiness in their hearts was inspiring.
Q: What kept you motivated in following your true passion? Leading from my heart, rather than my head kept the passion and motivation alive. Also, reminding myself why I am doing it. I want to make a difference and inspire others to love their life fully. I ask myself how I can be of service to the world. The notion of combining my passions and values together in a job is rewarding and if I wasn't doing it, I would feel like I was dying. So the motivation is always there. However, there are times when I feel like I am working too hard. When it feels like an uphill battle, that is when I step back and relax. Sometimes, not doing anything at all is the best course of action. I judge each day by the seeds I plant, not by the harvest. Everyday I let my heart lead me to the best course of action towards my goal. And as long as I am planting seeds, I am on the right path. Because the harvest always comes. Just trusting is key.
Q: What was your greatest challenge in getting to where you are right now? The biggest challenge for me at first was busting through the fear. The fear kept me paralyzed for years and that is when I turned to some not so healthy things. Then I outed my fear and it wasn't so bad at all. In fact, it felt way better. The second most challenging thing was trusting. Leaving corporate and branching out into the big sea of the unknown was terrifying (more fear) because I didn't know what would happen, where money would come from, etc. But learning to trust was critical to my success. Also, having patience. I have learned to be patient because I may think that I want something and I want it now, but as time unfolds, it may not have been the best thing for me in the big picture. For me, learning to trust that everything was in the right order and that I was always taken care of was huge. Also, letting go of expectations. I had all these expectations on what would make me happy. Having X amount of followers/fans, making X amount of dollars, etc. But the real value of success has been recognizing the blessings that I do have. And even if the outcome doesn't look like I imagined, the feelings of peace, happiness, and love are always with me. And that is true happiness and success for me.
Q: What advice do you have for aspiring travel writers or just aspiring writers in general? 1. Declare your worth. Many writers shy away from their dream because they have fear, whether it is not feeling good enough, smart enough, etc. Turn that fear around and believe in the power of you. 2. Write. Write when you take trips anywhere, even to the bar down the street. Everything can be a story. And get your messages out there. Submit to blogs, editors, etc. Network at events. Volunteer to write for local magazines and newspapers for free. Just keep writing. 3. Follow someone you like. Look out in the market and see who is doing what you want to do. Align yourself with them to see what works, then make yourself different by being true to you. Learning from example is a great way to get footing into the world of writing. 4. Read travel writing books, how to be a travel writer, get on Press release lists from tourist boards, and start a blog. A blog is key. 5. Forget what you hear from everyone and follow your heart. I can't stress this one enough. People will always be keen to share how they did it and how that is the only way, therefore convincing you that that's how you should do it. But trust that there is no right or wrong way. Only you know what is true for you. So always ask yourself if it feels right or if it feels forced. Always choose the path of least resistance. It will help you make your dreams come true faster.
Shannon is currently working on securing a literary agent for her first book, Find Your Happy: An Inspirational Guide on Loving Life to the Fullest. It is a memoir in which Shannon shares the tools she used to pull herself out of depression. She wants to help readers remove blocks to reach the happiness within. Shannon suspects the book to be out in 2012.
Shannon's website: http://www.playwiththeworld.com/
Thank you Shannon for answering my questions, and thank YOU for reading.
Shannon once followed a career path that she hated. But it wasn't just the ideal "I hate my job" syndrome. It made her feel empty, lost, depressed, and not good enough to break free. She cried all the time and turned to self-abuse and drugs. She felt like a prisoner of her own life. Shannon's true love was writing. She began cheating on her advertising job with writing. (http://www.playwiththeworld.com/?p=656) She had found her real passion, but felt too afraid to leave her secure job and secure paycheck to pursue what truly made her happy.
It was a scary journey for her. But she made it out alive and is now a happy, healthy travel writer.
I'll stop talking (typing) now and share Shannon's interview with you:
Q: At what point did you realize that advertising was not what you really wanted and how did you feel when you realized that? I realized advertising wasn't the best fit for me in 2008 when I was sent oversees to New Zealand for a work assignment by the ad agency I worked for. On that trip, I was so thankful to be in a new country, but the work I was doing felt forced. I couldn't connect with it or the people in the office. I wanted to spend time exploring the country, and that is when I realized my desire for travel writing. At the time, I felt depressed, hopeless, and stuck. It wasn't until I learned that I could change my circumstances that I gained confidence in my dream. But if I were to be honest with myself, even in college when I was pursuing a degree in advertising, I felt a tiny nag that something wasn't quite right.
Q: Most people turn to harmful actions when feeling empty or depressed. Did you ever result to doing anything extremely harmful to numb the pain? Yes, sadly my journey went to some dark places. I ignored my inner voice for so long that I turned to every harmful action possible. I went through periods of trading one addiction for the next. I was a workaholic (70-80 hour work weeks), bulimic, exercise maniac (3-4 hours of exercise a day), sex addict, food addict, and a drug addict. I turned to self-abuse and sabotage because I didn't see a way out. But now I know there is a healthier, happier, and more compassionate way to live. And treating myself the way I did only kept me from getting what I really wanted. But by going through each dark moment, I was able to learn what it really feels like at rock bottom. Now I can relate to people going through the same thing and I can genuinely help them.
Q: What advice do you have for people who genuinely feel like there is no place for them in the world and that they have no real passion? I can relate 100%. I felt this way for the majority of my life. Feeling different from everyone and feeling like I did not belong and that there had to be something more. My advice would be simple. Follow your heart. Remember that you do matter and that you are greatly important. The world needs you and your greatness, so shine your light and trust yourself. Also, recognize fear for what it is. A false indication of reality. Learn to become friends with your fear. When we want something, that little voice comes into our head and says we are not good enough, strong enough, rich enough, etc. It is our duty to say, "Fear, thank you for your contribution, but we are going to bust through because I am good enough, strong enough, and I have everything that I need." Some actual things that helped me were praying and meditation. I asked myself what I valued in life and made a list of my top five values and created a life around those values. This helped me find a place for myself. I started to meet people with the same values.
Q: What is your favorite place that you've traveled to so far and why? I loved Paris because of the food and the self-realization that came from traveling for two weeks in a country where I didn't speak the language. It is a beautiful thing to immerse yourself in the unknown and work your way through getting comfortable. My overall, most memorable experience was Morocco. I ventured into the High Atlas mountains and slept on the sand in the open Sahara Desert. Riding a camel and hanging out with local Berbers drinking mint tea was the most intense evening of my travel life. Seeing people make a life out of nomads through the desert with nothing more than the clothes on their back, but still so much peace and happiness in their hearts was inspiring.
Q: What kept you motivated in following your true passion? Leading from my heart, rather than my head kept the passion and motivation alive. Also, reminding myself why I am doing it. I want to make a difference and inspire others to love their life fully. I ask myself how I can be of service to the world. The notion of combining my passions and values together in a job is rewarding and if I wasn't doing it, I would feel like I was dying. So the motivation is always there. However, there are times when I feel like I am working too hard. When it feels like an uphill battle, that is when I step back and relax. Sometimes, not doing anything at all is the best course of action. I judge each day by the seeds I plant, not by the harvest. Everyday I let my heart lead me to the best course of action towards my goal. And as long as I am planting seeds, I am on the right path. Because the harvest always comes. Just trusting is key.
Q: What was your greatest challenge in getting to where you are right now? The biggest challenge for me at first was busting through the fear. The fear kept me paralyzed for years and that is when I turned to some not so healthy things. Then I outed my fear and it wasn't so bad at all. In fact, it felt way better. The second most challenging thing was trusting. Leaving corporate and branching out into the big sea of the unknown was terrifying (more fear) because I didn't know what would happen, where money would come from, etc. But learning to trust was critical to my success. Also, having patience. I have learned to be patient because I may think that I want something and I want it now, but as time unfolds, it may not have been the best thing for me in the big picture. For me, learning to trust that everything was in the right order and that I was always taken care of was huge. Also, letting go of expectations. I had all these expectations on what would make me happy. Having X amount of followers/fans, making X amount of dollars, etc. But the real value of success has been recognizing the blessings that I do have. And even if the outcome doesn't look like I imagined, the feelings of peace, happiness, and love are always with me. And that is true happiness and success for me.
Q: What advice do you have for aspiring travel writers or just aspiring writers in general? 1. Declare your worth. Many writers shy away from their dream because they have fear, whether it is not feeling good enough, smart enough, etc. Turn that fear around and believe in the power of you. 2. Write. Write when you take trips anywhere, even to the bar down the street. Everything can be a story. And get your messages out there. Submit to blogs, editors, etc. Network at events. Volunteer to write for local magazines and newspapers for free. Just keep writing. 3. Follow someone you like. Look out in the market and see who is doing what you want to do. Align yourself with them to see what works, then make yourself different by being true to you. Learning from example is a great way to get footing into the world of writing. 4. Read travel writing books, how to be a travel writer, get on Press release lists from tourist boards, and start a blog. A blog is key. 5. Forget what you hear from everyone and follow your heart. I can't stress this one enough. People will always be keen to share how they did it and how that is the only way, therefore convincing you that that's how you should do it. But trust that there is no right or wrong way. Only you know what is true for you. So always ask yourself if it feels right or if it feels forced. Always choose the path of least resistance. It will help you make your dreams come true faster.
Shannon is currently working on securing a literary agent for her first book, Find Your Happy: An Inspirational Guide on Loving Life to the Fullest. It is a memoir in which Shannon shares the tools she used to pull herself out of depression. She wants to help readers remove blocks to reach the happiness within. Shannon suspects the book to be out in 2012.
Shannon's website: http://www.playwiththeworld.com/
Thank you Shannon for answering my questions, and thank YOU for reading.
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