As most of you have probably noticed by some of my recent posts, I'm sort of at a fork in the road in my life right now.
Uncertainty is scary and depressing sometimes. I've spent the last few days stuffing my face, staring out of windows for countless minutes on end, and Googling questions like "Where is my life going?" (Whoever said no one has all the answers clearly hasn't tried Google........But unfortunately, Google was not able to tell me where my life is going.)
To be clear, I know what I want to DO with my life (sort of), but I don't know where it's all leading or if it will ensure that I don't spend my late twenties or early thirties living under a bridge. I've basically just spent the last few days wondering how I'm going to make a living staying completely true to myself and my passions. Because let's face it: It can be pretty hard to get paid simply for being yourself. Especially in a world intent on molding you to fit in with the rest of the crowd.
And I know that money isn't the most important thing in life. When I'm lying on my death bed, I won't give two shits about money. But a friend of mine once said, "It's fine and dandy to think that life isn't about money, responsibilities, and long term goals, but I have a cell phone bill and a landlord who would beg to differ."
I'm all for positive thinking and focusing on what truly matters in the long run, but I'm also a bit of a realist. And if I want to actually take care of myself, I'm going to need to figure out how to accumulate the green stuff. (With that said, getting rich or whatever is not the goal here. Not even close. The goal is to make a decent living doing something I love to do.)
BUT ANYWAYS. I'm getting way off topic.
So the other night while I was mindlessly surfing the internet and questioning the point of life once again, I came across this quote on someone's Tumblr:
"Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it's meant to be."
My initial thought was something like, "I don't want to hear any cliches right now."
But my second thought was, "This is true."
It's not always comforting when worrying, wondering, and doubting takes up 99.9% of your time, but things have always turned out okay for me. My worries, doubts, and fears haven't killed me. And if I'm still here and breathing, it must be for a reason. Learning to believe that gives me a reason to wake up every morning.
And if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that faith is much more powerful than doubt.
If you can relate to this post, maybe these quotes on uncertainty will help ease your mind a little bit. Courtesy of my favorite website. :-) http://tinybuddha.com/wisdom-category/uncertainty-2/
<3 Madison
Madison, I started reading your post and immediately knew I couldn't finish reading it without chocolate. I momentarily freaked out when I thought I had eaten it all. I found some.
ReplyDeleteHere's quote by me. This is what showed up when I spent 20 minutes observing spring.:
The carpenter bee moves from flower to flower buzzing along its way. It is neither lost nor reading a map. She does not bother herself with the brittle sticks of winter or the yet budding leaves.
You already know your way. There is plenty of worry for you in the world so there's no reason to worry for yourself.
Cheer, Jules
I'm reading this while half asleep, so I'll have to let it sink in for a minute. Haha.
DeleteBut it sounds very profound, and I love it. Thank you. :-)
<3 Madison
p.s. You have every right to freak out when your chocolate is almost gone. ;P
Dear Madison,
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to your post as I have been doing the same thing lately. I moved to a different state in search of happiness. While I have found that happiness in love, I still remain unemployed. I left my last job because I was miserable. These last couple months have taught me what I want to do. I want to write, edit, work in publishing, but like you, I haven't found the opportunity and find myself giving in to applications for retail jobs once more. I feel like I am giving up but at least I know what I want to do now and so do you. Like you, money is not important to me either, but as I watch my bank account dwindle I panic a little as the student loans loom monthly. I have been reading your blog lately and can completely relate. Thank you for sharing. (I also love tinybuddha.com and have an article that will be published on the site soon).
Good luck with your future!
~Erin
Hi Erin!
DeleteI'm so glad you can relate.
I understand that you might feel like you're giving up, but I don't think you are. I think that as long as you know what you really want and keep your eye on that goal, you haven't given up. You're just doing what you have to do to provide for yourself in the meantime.
I genuinely wish you the best of luck in everything though. I'm rooting for you!
And I'll keep an eye out for your Tiny Buddha article. I visit the site every morning. :-)
<3 Madison