I know what it's like to feel like no one will ever understand how you feel.
I know what it's like to feel alone---like you have no one to turn to.
I know what it's like to feel like a prisoner in your own life, in your own body and in your own head.
I know what it's like to watch something that can never be replaced vanish slowly before your eyes.
I know what it's like to truly hate yourself.
I know what it's like to feel backed into a corner.
I know what it's like to be paralyzed with fear and then beat yourself up for feeling like you can't push through it like you're "supposed to."
I know what it's like to feel like a giant disappointment to yourself and everyone else.
I know what it's like to be criticized in the worst possible way over and over again.
I know what it's like to feel almost overwhelmingly tempted to give up.
So whenever you feel like no one knows what it's like, I do. I get it. You can talk to me.
And everything will be okay in the end. Trust.
<3 Madison
Just today I had another crazy day.. I went out to the shops just for a walk and stepped into one of the nature shop - you know, the one with herbal medicine and natural cosmetics. What interested me there, was the face oil, I wanted to test it... and I didn't realize that while i was squirting out a sample, I unconscionably tilted the bottle and poured a lot of it on the floor. I don't know where my mind was, I don't know what I was doing.. I was like this since morning, doing odd things...and when I realized, what happened, I got so angry with my self.. I suppose it's just one of these days, when I am simply angry with life.. and angry, that I was left alone. I am still grieving, there's no doubt but when you feel like screaming, you can't and it's all locked inside. Sometimes I want to talk but I can't. Because I would say things that would hurt others.
ReplyDeleteThank you for make me feel, that I am not the only one and making me realize, I am just a human being! I just wish I could hide my self from all of it.
I have those days too---days where everything just comes to the surface and I end up feeling angry and overwhelmed all day.
DeleteI'm so sorry that you've been hurting lately, and I hope you start feeling better soon. Be patient and loving towards yourself. And YES, you are only human. Remember that. :-)
<3 Madison
:-)
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU. Sometimes it seems that everyone expects me to do this and do that without any time to reflect and be myself. Very few people understand this or at least admit it, but one person is better than nothing :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading! :-)
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