Monday, November 18, 2013


Hello friends!

As most of you may know, I announced the publication of my eBook a little over a month ago. Aside from writing that post, I pretty much didn't tell anyone about it (aside from a few close friends/family members) because I wanted to wait until it was available on a variety of websites---so that everyone could choose which one they wanted to use and not feel guilted into using a single one. So after several weeks of waiting, working, tying up loose ends, and trying my very best to keep my trap shut every time the book popped up on a new website, I am finally ready to announce the OFFICIAL launch! :-) (I didn't need to change my cover after all because it got approved at the last minute. Yay!)

You can now choose between 6 different retailers to buy from:


Barnes & Noble:





So whether you want to read my eBook on your desktop, Nook, Kindle, iPad, iPhone, or other nifty electronic device, you can purchase and read it comfortably and at your convenience.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and gotten excited with me throughout this process. You know who you are, and I truly love and appreciate each of you.

If you have not bought my eBook yet, I really hope you decide to. I would love to hear what you think. I hope it inspires you and serves as an always available reminder that you're not alone and that there's always hope---whatever your struggle may be.

Have a wonderful week, and I hope to hear from you soon!

<3 Madison    

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Taking small steps and trusting the work of the universe

The other week, I felt so enormously discouraged that I almost considered making a career switch into prostitution. "At least prostitutes make more money than this," I reasoned. If you're a freelancer, you probably understand this frequent train of thought. Or maybe that's just me...

To be honest, I still feel a bit discouraged. But on some days, it's so strong that I feel completely helpless as to what I should do and powerless to do anything at all. I lack long-term vision. I lack substantial income. I lack the self-confidence to tell everyone on the face of the planet how great I am so they will hire me and/or buy my creations. I lack the work ethic to "build a bridge" and then expect myself to make giant leaps and bounds without one. Sometimes I have unrealistic expectations and wonder what is wrong with me for taking so long to get the ball rolling in my chosen field.

But the moral of this downer can be summed up in this simple quote: "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." I think Martin Luther King, Jr. said it. He's a smart man.

I have to remind myself that what I do today matters way more than what I plan to do five or ten years from now. Today is all there is, and I can either use it to make that first step and celebrate little victories, or I can use it to bemoan where I'm going long-term.

You can only take life one day at a time. You can only take your goals and dreams one step at a time. 

And I've noticed that every time I go through a debilitating bout of discouragement, something really good or exciting always happens soon thereafter---something that confirms, yet again, that I am on the right path. It's like the universe slapping me in the face (gently) and saying, "You don't have to sell your body for money and attention. Keep writing."

Every path has its dark alleys and winding roads, but if we keep walking, we will eventually find a water fountain or a pot of gold. Even if it's just a little one to encourage us along.

<3 Madison          

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Miscellaneous thoughts (Part 8)

~ You are so much stronger than you think. When you're having the worst day, week or month ever, it's tempting to want to take a bath and never come out or pack up all of your belongings and leave everything you've ever known, but I promise you that whatever you're going through is not the end of the world. If you're like me and can easily go from normal functioning human to complete emotional wreck in the span of about two minutes, remember that everything is temporary. You have to hang in there.

~ Revenge doesn't hurt other people as much as it hurts you.

~ Make sure you're giving adequate attention to everything that's important in your life. Don't lean too far in one direction and not far enough in another. Balance is everything.

~ Other people are not better than you. Other people are just other people. Nothing more, nothing less.

~ When people talk about the benefits of unplugging from technology and truly being with people and enjoying nature, they're not lying. Put your cell phone away, and go play outside with your favorite person. 

~ Anger is pain in disguise.

~ To me, occasional crying is like the occasional car wash. You just need a good cry every now and then. Maybe I'm just weird like that. Whatever.

~ Ask, and you shall receive. Sometimes.

~ Bashing other people on the Internet (or anywhere else) is not a good use of time. And it doesn't make you look cool either.

~ Creativity cannot be forced. Mental breaks are very necessary.

<3 Madison

Monday, November 4, 2013

When you feel perpetually behind in life

"Always focus on how far you've come, rather than how far you have left to go." ~ Unknown

As 2013 comes closer and closer to the end of its rope, I've been reflecting on the past year and figuring out where I want to go and what I want to do in the year to come. I sort of always do that this time of year. I love October through December because of the weather, the fun holidays, and the "slow down and reflect on what really matters" pace of it all, but I'm not a huge fan of the feeling that I somehow fell short and took yet another year for granted---the feeling that I'm running out of time to make the year "truly" count. I don't know. Maybe that's just me.

Sometimes I just feel so behind in life. No matter what I do or accomplish, I always get hit with this sinking feeling that I don't measure up. "I should work harder. I should be a better friend. I should have more friends. I should be a responsible grown-up. I should make more money. I should be more social. I should be more business savvy. I should be more educated. I should go out more often. I should have better work/life balance. I should eat more vegetables and less ice cream. I should seize more opportunities. I should have my shit together by now."

When my confidence gets shaky, I seem to lose sight of everything I stand for and believe in. And I stand for unconditional self-love and believe that everyone measures up in their own way, regardless of where they currently stand in life. It's just not always easy to remind myself of those things when I get stuck in the cruel cycle of my own mind.

So this is what I am going to tell myself and you today:

There will always be an endless stream of reminders from well-meaning sources about how you don't measure up. You can either choose to think other people are better than you, or you can choose to recognize that although every journey is different, we are all on the same journey. The people who seem to have super awesome lives have days where they hate themselves and think other people are better than them. We're all in the same boat here.

There is nothing wrong with you, and until you embrace that truth, you will never make the changes you want to see. You have to want things from a place of self-love and patience---not comparison, pressure and self-judgment. You are perpetually going to screw up and have your flaws yelling in your face. Be okay with that. Love yourself through it all. Because when you do, wonderful shit will happen. You can't make wonderful shit happen when you sit around telling yourself how behind and underdeveloped you are.    

Maybe it's time to focus more on what you've done, rather than on everything you haven't. And for the love of all things, please believe me when I say you've done quite a lot.

<3 Madison