Saturday, October 15, 2011

Have you smiled today?

As I promised myself and you guys, I went out and sat on a street corner while holding a sign that said, "Have you smiled today?" It was a bit different from how I imagined it would be.

Expectation: I would feel awesome, content, and in tune with the rest of the world as people honked, smiled, and waved at me as they drove by. I would sit there in the beautiful weather on a soft patch of grass while "Fix You" by Coldplay played on my portable CD player. I would sit out there for half an hour and walk home feeling happy and full of love.

Reality: I felt extremely awkward and only a few people smiled and waved. No one honked at me. I barely made eye contact with anyone, even though I was wearing sunglasses. The weather was a bit hotter and stickier than expected. "Fix You" by Coldplay (One of my favorite songs on the planet, by the way) played on my portable CD player, but I barely paid attention to it because I felt awkward and uncomfortable. I got attacked by gnats and a few ants. The grass I was sitting on wasn't soft or lush. I sat out there for about ten minutes before walking home feeling a bit disappointed in myself.

What I learned from this is that things don't always turn out how you expect. You fantasize about doing certain things and when you do them and they don't turn out like you imagined they would, you become disappointed. The best moments in life are unexpected & unplanned. They just happen and they're magical. And sometimes, things turn out even BETTER than you expected.

I'm reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower right now (Yes, I'm just now reading that. How late am I?) and Charlie sort of reminds me of myself. (Only way cooler and nicer) He's thought consumed and observant and lives in his own little world all the time. I wish I could tell you how to get out of your own little world and into the real world, but I haven't figured that out yet. But like I've said before, being imaginative is never a bad thing.

What I do know is that I went out there with my sign and sat on the street corner like I said I would. I didn't leave as soon as I sat down or even when gnats started attacking my face. I stayed and let myself relax into the moment a little bit. And some people DID smile and wave. Others drove right by without a glance, but that's okay too. I guess the best way to get out of your head is to get out into the world, even if it's scary or makes you uncomfortable at first. I hope I at least made one person feel better though. That was all I really wanted to do.

Have YOU smiled today? I have.

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