Thursday, February 9, 2012

The elimination of the phrase, "if only..."

A marathon of "if onlys" ran through my mind last night and it sent me to bed feeling kind of poo-ish. I don't enjoy feeling poo-ish, and I don't think any of you guys enjoy it either.

I've read a few articles here and there about how saying or thinking, "if only ___" is damaging and unproductive. I've always agreed with that, yet I still do it. Just like last night.

"If only I had my driver's license, maybe people would accept me."

As you may or may not know, I'm nineteen years old and I don't have my driver's license. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and laugh. Everyone else does. Well...not everyone. But most people.

What I realized is that there will always be more "if onlys". Even after you obtain that thing you thought would bring you all of the happiness and acceptance you had been chasing, there will be even more "if onlys" just around the corner. And they will continue to snowball until you choose to eliminate the words, "if only" from your vocabulary altogether.

After I get my license (Lol), the following thoughts could arise:

"If only I had more gas money, maybe people would accept me."
"If only I had a sense of direction, maybe people would accept me."
"If only I could park without taking up nine spots at once, maybe people would accept me."

The same rule applies if you're using the words "if only" to dwell on past regrets.

For example, here's one of mine: "If only I had taken that opportunity to go to Australia for six months as a foreign exchange student, I would feel happier and less fearful."

This isn't productive thinking either because I didn't take that opportunity and as much as I regret it, whining about it won't do any good.

So whether you have your eye on something you don't have yet and you think having it will make you feel happy and accepted, or you're dwelling on something you could've had, but didn't get, try to get into the habit of eliminating these thoughts NOW before they snowball LATER.

We're missing out on the moments and opportunities that are right in front of us when we spend our time saying and thinking, "if only..."

Don't go to bed feeling poo-ish tonight like I did last night.

<3 Madison


  1. Madison, thank you for the kind words back on twitter. Are you on Facebook? Would love to follow you. XO Keli "yoga peach"

    1. Hi Keli!

      I'm not on Facebook. I currently only have a Twitter and this blog, but please feel free to get in touch anytime! I was really excited to see that you mentioned me on your blog. Thanks so much! :-)

      <3 Madison