Monday, June 2, 2014

What I want

I want to be seen, heard, acknowledged and loved for who I truly am.

I want to do something to make my existence mean something and not just use the excuse that simply being alive is enough.

I want to run through the pouring rain without the fear of getting soaked.

I want to see everyone I love accomplish their wildest dreams.

I want to see the world beyond my own backyard.

I want to stop tying my sense of self-worth to validation from others.

I want to expose myself to heavy things and extraordinary things because those are the only two things I know how to write about.

I want to replace jealousy with gratitude and anger with compassion.

I want to read books and watch movies and eat potato chips whenever I feel like it.

I want to stop feeling inadequate just because I haven't achieved as much as the person sitting next to me.

I want to trust my path, even when it's dark, treacherous, or leads to a dead end.

I want to stop feeling invisible and treating others like they're invisible.

I want to go on the Internet without seeing comments full of rage and hatred.

I want to witness equality for everyone on the face of the planet once and for all.

I want to treat my emotional well-being like the sacred and fragile thing that it is.

I want to prove someone wrong when they tell me I can't or won't do something.

I want to deem myself worthy of the love and kindness I receive through this blog and in real life.

I want to fall madly in love with as many things as possible.

I want to value and encourage the creativity and underrated art in myself and others.  

I want to find a way back to myself every time I get lost or lose sight of the beauty and privilege of having a beating heart in my chest.

What do you want?

<3 Madison

13 comments:

  1. Those are good wants. I want to stay in touch with the simple pleasures in life, and I want to be surrounded by honest people who can live freely like I do.

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  2. All this and more. Glad I am not the only dreamer out there

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  3. I want to tell YOU, someone I knew nothing of two hours ago, that as far as I'm concerned, you're DEFinitely doing it right, and that you now have a very grateful new fan of your blog. I've read all of your most recent posts after having lucked into an article of yours after having googled "I don't feel like enough," and I fully intend to read every posting on here in the coming days.

    I recently quit a job that paid what I hoped it would after opting for the practical college degree that I wasn't really intrigued by. After three years, I couldn't convince myself that sitting in front of a computer screen for work was gonna cut it as a career, and I finally excepted that. In my resignation email, I told my boss that if staying at a job were solely contingent upon salary, management, culture, coworkers, and benefits, I would never leave. At the end of the day, it's a job, and the nature of the job itself is what made me leave.

    Three weeks into joblessness, watching my savings dwindle, I don't feel much closer to clarity than I did my last day of work, but I also don't regret my decision in the least. It was a decision in which I let my heart influence for once, and I have every confidence this change will be for the better. I am a musician, whose dream has always been to sustain myself with music. It's about time I determine what that even means, and knowing there's another out there fighting the same fight provides much appreciated comfort. :)

    I guess I felt prompted to leave a comment because you reminded me of my human community in a moment of extreme aloneness, and I wanted to respond in kind. As you've already posted an awareness of, there are people two and three times your age that are struggling with nearly the same things you and I are. We're all striving for equilibrium, and I consider your wisdom beyond your years to be a direct product of your openness to and relationship with your heart.

    External validation can't influence the impact of our formative years, and all the frustrating habits that seem hardwired because of them, but I wish to provide it to you nonetheless: keep whatever you're doing up. I've read more articles on various facets of psychology (in attempt at self-help) than I'd care to admit, and you write with more concision and honesty than I find in many professionals' work.

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your talent with us. I look forward to your next post.

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    1. Wow, this is lovely. I honestly don't know what to say besides thank you! I'm sorry I haven't written a new post in awhile...My best content comes out when it's not forced by feelings of guilt or obligation. :-)

      Thank you for reading, and I hope you decide to stick around!

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  4. I want to stop feeling guilty for doing what I want to do rather than what I think I should be doing for someone else.

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    1. Don't feel guilty for making your happiness a priority. :-)

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  5. Thanks, Madison. I tell myself this. Easier said than done. I just keep trying to find that balance of being a mom to my grown daughters, a good wife to my husband (this is the easiest one) and giving my elderly mom attention, while I really only want to work, take care of my house and do fun stuff. This mental conflict just leaves me frozen and I don't get anything done. The inadequacy just feeds itself.
    I'm so glad I found your blog! I think you may understand this. It's just helping that I'm putting these feelings into words. I can see why your writing is your greatest therapy. Am I right?

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  6. While I am a huge advocate of doing what you need to do to please and take care of yourself, I agree that balance is also important. We have people and priorities in our life that need to be cared for too! You can be a good mom, wife and daughter and still work, take care of your house, and do fun stuff. It's all about figuring out where your greatest priorities and responsibilities lie.

    And yes, writing is therapeutic for me. :-)

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  7. I want to thank you for this beautiful post! And for all the others. I've just discovered you by The Mind Unleashed and your article '7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough', that I shared on my Facebook page. You are really talented and your writings touch deep places inside me (I'm sure I'm not the only one...). I wish you all what you want! from Stéphanie (France)

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    1. Thank you Stephanie! This is lovely. xx

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