Wise reminder from a wise soul

I had a conversation with an older and wiser man the other day, moments after I walked out on a job I couldn't see myself keeping or enjoying. (It was a second job...I'm not unemployed again, don't worry.) And although I can't recall what he said to me verbatim, it was something along the lines of this:

"If you don't wanna do something, don't do it. Don't worry about what these people think or what anyone thinks. You wanna know why? 'Cause you're the one who's gotta live with it."

I love that. I especially love it because I used to live by that notion, but have since fallen a bit short.

The truth is, I care pretty deeply what other people think about me and have an acute fear of being judged. I usually make decisions based on what I believe will please others, and if I make unconventional decisions to please myself, I often feel unnecessarily ashamed and embarrassed.

I left this second job feeling a bit deflated because everyone told me I should work both, even though that was never my desire or intention. They said it wouldn't hurt to save up some extra money and keep myself busier. (I will forever be baffled by society's obsession with busyness.) Of course, these people had good intentions, which is often the case. But I didn't take the job for any of those reasons. I took it to try something different and see if I might possibly enjoy it enough to make a switch from my first job. I quickly concluded that my first job was the superior choice, so not wanting to waste my time or anyone else's, I left. And people probably disapproved in some capacity.

But that last conversation I had before climbing in my car and driving away was exactly what I needed to hear to quiet the voice of disapproval in my own head.

If you don't wanna do something, don't do it. 

I love my work schedule. I love the money I make, the hours I work, and the time I have off to spend with my writing, my loved ones, and myself. I may not have the fattest of paychecks, but I have everything I need and more. I'm not struggling. I make good financial decisions - probably way better decisions than most people in my age group. At this point in my life, I am lucky enough to be completely taken care of. I do not regret my decision to leave the second job because it was in fact what I wanted.

It's okay to do what you want and not do what you don't want, as long as you go about it the right way. Your life is yours and yours alone, and no one has to live with the choices you make except you. If you disappoint people along the way, so what? They will get over it.

Just a friendly reminder for today and every day.

<3 Madison