It's been way too long since my last post (shame on me), so I decided to just pop in and let you all know what I've been up to and what's been on my mind.
Truth is, I haven't really been up to much. Sometimes I go weeks without inspiration for a new post. I think it's because my life is too routine and I don't get out much. I feel like I should plan to do something I've never done before---you know, be spontaneous or take some kind of big risk. I'm open to ideas...
Also, I was letting my mind wander yesterday and trying to figure out why I'm so resistant to change.
You see, Taylor Swift is coming out with a new album this month. I've been a huge fan of Taylor (still am) since I was fifteen. She got me through all of my high school relationship monstrosities, and I really feel like I've grown up with her. I have all her albums and know the words to all her songs. I love her simple storytelling, guitar strumming way of singing songs.
So if any of you are Taylor Swift fans and have been listening to the new songs she has been releasing in the weeks leading up to her album release, you know that she's going for a different sound on this one. She's going more pop. She's playing with auto-tune a little bit. So I've basically been walking around feeling like a giant part of my life has been snatched away from me. Because the storytelling, guitar strumming Taylor Swift is all I've ever known.
I obviously have no way of knowing if the entire album is going to be like that or if she's going to have a delicate balance between her old sound and her new sound. Either way, I'm still excited.
But the point of the story is that I realized that I'm resistant to change because I look at every change as a loss. And that is a terrible way to look at change. If I continue to feel a gaping sense of loss every time something I'm accustomed to changes, I'm going to walk around my entire life feeling pain and loss. I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to be able to bend and evolve and suck it up. As long as I'm alive, things are going to change. People are going to change. EVERYTHING is going to change.
So that's the most recent thing I've been pondering over. Taylor Swift is still Taylor Swift. I know that I will eventually grow to love her new sound because I'm too loyal of a fan not to. She is evolving. I shall evolve with her.
And I will do my best to evolve with any other changes that take place in my life. Change is inevitable, and I'm trying really hard to grasp that concept once and for all. I really think I will feel happier and freer if I do. (Freer is a weird word, by the way. It doesn't look the way it sounds.)
And lastly, I just want you all to know that I love getting emails from you. Every time someone emails me and I email them back, they seem surprised by the fact that I actually emailed them back---like they weren't expecting me to or something.
They're all like, "Whoa, thanks for responding!" or "Whoa, I wasn't expecting to hear back from you!" or "Whoa, you got back to me so quickly! Thanks!"
And I'm just thinking, "Why wouldn't I get back to you? You just poured your heart out to me and gave me the nicest compliments ever!"
I read every email I get. I respond to every email I get. (Unless it's hate mail, but I've never gotten hate mail. PLEASE DON'T SEND ME HATE MAIL.)
Interacting with the people who actually care about what I have to say is important to me. I would never read a heart wrenching or super nice email and just be like, "Eh. Okay. Moving on to the next."
So don't hesitate to email me if you need someone to talk to or whatever. I can't promise to fix your problems or give you mind-blowing, life-changing advice, but I WILL respond.