I've been having some super unsettling dreams lately---not going to school naked, falling off a cliff, or being chased by a serial rapist and/or murderer unsettling, but unsettling in a more realistic way. I've been having dreams that are making me hyper-aware of my insecurities, flaws, and basically everything that I frequently find myself ignoring and deflecting---dreams that open up that little box in the darkest corner of my subconscious and let the contents of that little box go nuts inside my brain while I'm in my most vulnerable state.
It's an awful way to start your day. Who wants to wake up with a heart or mind full of anger, depression or fear? When you wake up with those feelings, they have a way of following you around and butting into your day-to-day routines and interactions.
"It was just a dream," most people will say. But what if your dreams have glimmers of truth?
Maybe you had a dream about your significant other breaking up with you, and you wake up with the reminder that you don't feel good enough for him or her.
Maybe you had a dream about your father throwing insults at you, and you wake up with the knowledge that he already does and will more than likely continue to do so.
Maybe you had a dream about a bully threatening you, and you wake up with the fear that threats probably aren't too far behind the bullying.
Maybe you had a dream about being fired from your job, and you wake up with your already existing feelings of professional inadequacy.
I'm actually really fascinated by these types of dreams. It's like our brain, heart or soul is trying to talk to us about the one thing we choose to ignore and distract ourselves from. It's like the back contents of our mind shoot to the front the second we put our guard down. It's like a little cry for help, a planting of a seed the size of an invisible elephant, or maybe just a cruel little reminder of what we feel the greatest fear and insecurity towards in our lives.
Either way, I think it's time to start paying attention while I'm awake.