Monday, December 10, 2012

Why I don't want to look at the long haul

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." ~ John Lennon

I sort of hate it when people ask me questions such as...

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?"
"Where do you see yourself in twenty years?"
"Are you ever going to get married and have kids?"
"Are you ever going to buy a house?"
"Are you ever going to *insert other non-applicable inquiry here*?"

I always clench up at questions like this. I don't see how people answer them.

How am I supposed to know how my life is going to end up? Do I look like a psychic?

It's okay to dream and have goals and visions, but anytime I've allowed myself to sit in one place and map out my future, my future has turned out to be completely different from what I planned.

Life rarely turns out exactly the way we plan. At least, that has been my truth. People always say to plan ahead and be secure enough to know exactly where you want your life to go. I disagree. How can we possibly know where our lives are going? How do we know for sure if we've found the right person, the right job, the right path? We can't know for sure. Things can change in a heartbeat, and the future has yet to arrive.

My life looks absolutely nothing like I planned for it to look five, ten years ago. There were so many things I thought I knew. I could've sworn I had it all figured out.

But I didn't. This seemed like a terrible tragedy at the time, but now it's a blessing. I'm proud of myself and my life. It's not perfect, of course. (No life ever is.) But I've turned out just fine so far. I'm alive, I'm well, I'm learning and I'm human.

Thinking about the future makes me crazy. I can't do it. I can barely even bring myself to think about where I'll be or what I'll be doing tomorrow. I could get hit by a bus for all I know. (And I sort of almost did one time. Note to self: Look BOTH ways before crossing the street.)

So I don't plan ahead. I don't look at the long haul. I don't map out my future. I stay present and let life take its natural course. I take my life one day and one heartbeat at a time.

I don't want to focus on happily ever after...I just want to focus on happy right now.

<3 Madison  

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