New Year's Eve reflections

Today is New Year's Eve---a day of reflection on the past year.

I actually wasn't planning on writing a post today until I found myself lying awake in the wee hours of the morning making a mental list of all the things that didn't pan out the way I wanted them to this year.

I know, I know. It's an awful thing to do to myself. But I still found myself doing it.

While today is a day of reflection on the past year and hope for the new year, I also think it's a day of ruminating on years gone by for some people. We find ourselves thinking about all the things we didn't do, all the things that didn't happen, all the people we didn't please (including ourselves), all the mistakes we've made, all the lessons we have yet to grasp, all the obstacles we have yet to overcome, all the old habits we have yet to kick to the curb---the list goes on and on.

These thoughts have left me feeling a bit anxious and defeated this New Year's Eve. Old emotions are being evoked and old thinking patterns are popping up and saying, "Remember me?" 2012 is about to be gone forever, and I can't help but wonder if I truly made the most of it.  

And this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you something inspiring in case you've been feeling the same way. I should be telling you to let go or be kind to yourself or focus on how far you've come, rather than how far you have left to go.

But the truth is, I'm still trying to do those things myself.

<3 Madison