Never enough

Sometimes I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. And the really sucky, embarrassing truth is that I know I am not. I am so not.

I could be working harder. I could be a better person. I could get out more and make my existence mean something in the real world and not just on the Internet. 

It's exhausting to always feel like you never quite measure up. I have a friend who works her ass off and has done and been so many things, and even she feels like she doesn't measure up. She's always reaching for the next rung on the ladder---always pushing to make herself feel like a worthy, important, contributing member of society. And yet, she hates herself a little every single day.  

Does anyone ever feel like they measure up? It's like no matter what we do and no matter how hard we try, somebody somewhere is going to make us feel like it's not enough. We're going to make ourselves feel like it's not enough. 

Everyone thinks this way. Ask anyone, and I highly doubt you will find someone who says something like, "Oh, I definitely feel like I measure up. I know I'm good enough, and I'm living to my absolute fullest potential." If you find someone like this, please email me their contact information so I can learn their secret. 

I just really feel like a complete, total failure at life some days, and the thing I hate the most is that I rarely feel like doing anything about it. Getting dejected doesn't motivate me at all. It just makes me want to stare into space for half an hour as my mind assaults my soul and makes me feel like the most insignificant human being on the face of the Earth. 

Then I start wondering why I should work on my dreams every day if it never quite seems like I'm doing enough. I start wondering if I'm truly on the right path or if I should pave a new one. I start wondering what the people in my life see in me and what all of you see in me when I can't even find too many good things to see in myself.

It's a messy mentality to get stuck in. 

So how can we truly know if what we're doing in our lives is enough? Is our self-worth measured by what we do or who we are? How can we motivate ourselves to do more and be more when we feel too dejected to do anything at all? 

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

<3 Madison   

Miscellaneous thoughts (Part 6)

~ People won't take you seriously unless you give them a reason to. It sucks, but sometimes you just have to let it go.

~ Being successful won't make people like you. Being a good person will.

~ Creativity can never truly be squelched.

~ Pay attention. To everything.

~ The hand of death is unbiased and unpredictable. Tell someone you love that you love them.

~ Life and love do not come with rulebooks. How many times do I have to tell you? There are no rules. Zilch.

~ It's okay to seek advice and support, but don't abandon your own inner voice in the process. It may be the quietest voice, but it speaks the loudest.

~ It's really sad when something fun or soul recharging isn't happening anymore. I guess the best way to deal with it is to find something new to look forward to. And then when that's over, repeat the process. Try to always have something to look forward to.

~ Sacrifices are far from easy, but sometimes they're necessary.

~ People aren't always judging you. Sometimes they're just genuinely curious or concerned, and it can come across as judgment.

~ Being unemployed is often a blessing in disguise. And you are not your job status.

~ Treat your emotions gently. They will come and go as they please, and no amount of fighting will make them subside before they're ready.

<3 Madison

A formal introduction to the blog no one is reading yet

I know the title of this post sounds super snarky, but that is not my intention. I'd prefer to think of it as clever and attention-grabbing. And some people actually are reading the blog. Like 4-5 people per day. I suppose that's better than nothing.

Anyways. I decided to show Journey of a Soul Searcher some love on my new blog today. (Click here to see.) Then I decided that while I was at it, I would dedicate an entire post to giving you a more official introduction to said blog. If you haven't seen it yet, I encourage you to give it a chance. If you think it totally sucks, you have my permission to never visit again. 

The name of this blog is More to Share, More to Learn. It's a lifestyle blog where I write about other things I'm interested in aside from the inside of my soul. I write about stuff like relationships, organization and food. It's a little more grown-up. A little more 20-something. (But I also still write about the inside of my soul a little bit, so that's a plus for my existing blog readers.)  

If you still need some convincing, here are 4 reasons to check out More to Share, More to Learn: 

1. It's a creative extension of little old me.

I used to think I was a one trick pony. (And let's be honest...I sort of am.) Once I started feeling excited about other topics aside from my own personal life ramblings, I needed a creative space to put them in. So I decided to launch a new blog. If you ever get tired of reading about topics pertaining to several of the same themes, my new blog might be a breath of fresh air. It shows that I can write about other things too. 

2. The content is more diverse.

I'd like to think there's something for everyone on my new blog. Whether you like reading about love, life, food, weddings, family, entertainment or home improvement, I'm sure you'll find something useful and interesting.  

3. There is at least one picture included with every post. 

I don't include a picture with every post on this blog. On my new one, I do. I even posted an adorable photo of one of my dogs in a post about my Pinterest boards. Go look for it!     

4. It's written in the same personalized tone as Journey of a Soul Searcher.

In case you're worried that my new blog is going to sound super detached or removed, I'm happy to tell you that you're wrong. It's written in the same personalized, conversational tone as this one. (I still put lots of phrases in parenthesis and stuff.) 

Thanks for reading, and I hope you decide to stop by. http://more-to-share-more-to-learn.blogspot.com/

<3 Madison

p.s. Self-promotional posts are super awkward to write and not really my cup of tea, but I can't expect people to know about things if I don't talk/write about them.

p.p.s. Be sure to follow More to Share, More to Learn on Twitter if you like what you see.   

The freedom to just be

Every now and then I stumble across a really inspiring article about accepting yourself just as you are instead of constantly looking for ways to change or be better. We live in a world that is very fixated on self-improvement. Self-improvement is great and all, but I agree that sometimes it can be exhausting and debilitating to get trapped in the, "I can be better" or "I'm not quite good enough" mindset.

I don't like preachy wisdom. I don't like it when people look down on others just because they're in a different or "lesser" phase of their journey.

I suck at so many things. I suck at being a grown-up. I suck at being super fast-paced and productive. I suck at busting through fear and anxiety. I suck at finding new ways to be a better person. I suck at living life to the absolute fullest. And in a way, these facts can be helpful. In fact, most of you may be thinking, "You can be a better grown-up! You can be more productive! You can bust through fear and anxiety! You can be a better person! You can live life to the absolute fullest!"

And I'm sure you're right. But I think you're missing the point a little. In a lot of the articles I read about accepting yourself just as you are at any given moment, there's still one little tidbit thrown in there about how you still have to change---about how not changing will make you miserable in one way or another. In other words, they're kind of saying, "You're enough just the way you are. But you should still figure out what you need to change."

I don't always feel like figuring out what I need to change. I don't feel like comparing myself to other, more successful people. I don't like feeling like I have to prove myself. Sometimes I just want the freedom to simply be. No change, no improvement, no self-abuse. Just pure, 100% acceptance of myself.

Today I give you permission to...

Accept yourself if you're feeling weak.
Accept yourself if you're feeling nervous.
Accept yourself if you're feeling scared.
Accept yourself if you're feeling clueless.
Accept yourself if you're feeling unsuccessful.
Accept yourself if you're feeling lazy.
Accept yourself if you're feeling stuck.
Accept yourself if you're feeling angry.
Accept yourself if you're feeling bored.
Accept yourself if you're feeling less than you think you should be.

When you stop judging yourself completely, you leave more room to love yourself. I'm speaking from experience when I tell you that positive growth always blossoms when I treat myself with love, kindness and patience. When I judge myself, I hate myself. Nothing good or positive ever comes out of hating myself or comparing myself to others. That may work for some people, but it doesn't work for me.

And believe it or not, there is more right with you than wrong with you. At least that's what Jon Kabat-Zinn says.

I choose not to judge myself today.

<3 Madison