Friday, August 26, 2011

I don't understand myself

I seriously don't understand myself sometimes. I'm up and down more than a roller coaster. It amazes me how I can sometimes go from being completely euphoric to being completely unhappy all within a day.

Some days, I am productive and driven and go to bed feeling proud of myself. Other days, I sit around complaining that there is nothing on STARZ and eat anything I can get my hands on and go to bed feeling like I wasted another day of my life. Some days, I am a bit OVERLY positive and try to put everyone around me in a good, optimistic mood. Other days, I hate nearly everyone and could almost punch the next person who looks at me wrong and by the end of the day, people are slamming doors in my face. Some days, I make mental lists of why being alive and well is awesome. Other days, I make mental lists of why being alive and well isn't worth it. Some days, I jump out of bed, excited about the day ahead. Other days, I don't feel like getting out of bed at all. Some days, I laugh. Other days, I cry.

And some days, I'm my own best friend. Other days, I'm my own worst enemy. Both the friend and the enemy tend to have an equal influence on me sometimes.

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