My four personal commitments

I made myself a note yesterday. I've made myself a lot of notes and most of them have either ended up in the trash or are hiding somewhere in my house and collecting dust.

But THIS note is more than just a note. It's a commitment---four of them, actually.

And they are:

I am going to be patient with myself. 

I am going to chase my dreams.

I am going to form meaningful relationships. 

I am going to live.

And I want you guys to hold me to my word. If I ever write anything on this blog that is out of alignment with any of these four commitments, I want you to call me out on it.

Because I'm tired of wallowing in self-pity, fear, loneliness, and stagnation. I'm ready to pick myself back up again.

<3 Madison

The Constant Battle (head-heart-health guest post)

Hello friends.

I discovered the website http://head-heart-health.com/ a few weeks ago and after about an hour of browsing, I added it to my mental list of blogs to read on a regular basis. In fact, if I would've found it earlier, I probably would have included it in my "free soul pancakes" post. (http://journeyofasoulsearcher.blogspot.com/2012/02/free-soul-pancakes.html)

And when I found out that Katie (the founder of the website) accepted guest posts, I decided to write one.

The first one I sent was called "The Importance of Self-Validation" and although it was an honest story about how I learned to validate myself instead of seeking validation from others, I would be lying if I said I didn't sugarcoat it a teensy bit. Considering I only feel completely self-validated about 20% of the time, I suppose I wasn't in too much of a position to tell others to validate themselves.

Of course, Katie saw right through it. She told me to dig deeper. She wanted an honest glimpse into my soul. She wanted to hear the kinds of things I only whisper to myself.

At first, I was hesitant and resistant to dig deeper. I didn't think I had a deep enough wound to show, and almost decided not to submit another post. I started to wonder if head-heart-health was really the right publication for me.

But after a bad/emotional/anxiety-filled week last week, I was finally able to churn out this vulnerable little gem that sounds a lot like something I would write in my journal, as opposed to something I would get published on the internet.

It is the most personal piece I've ever had published and I'm equally excited and nervous to share it with you. I really hope you love it.

Thank you Katie for challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and take my writing to a new level.

Click here to read my post: http://head-heart-health.com/6586/health-lifeandsex/constant-battle/

<3 Madison

Don't underestimate yourself

"It's not who you are that holds you back; it's who you think you're not." ~ Unknown 


Today, I just want to give you all a friendly reminder to not underestimate yourselves.

In the back of my mind, I know that everything I think I lack is already inside of me somewhere---confidence, courage, individuality, unfiltered honesty, awesomeness...

But that version of me frequently gets hidden behind self-inflicted ego bruises and the heavy bricks of limiting beliefs (I'm pretty sure I have about fifty million of those). I constantly have to stop and remind myself that if I want the real me to shine through, all I have to do is be willing enough to peel back the layers---and also be willing enough to be patient with myself in the process of doing that.

We are all stronger than we think we are.
We are all capable of creating the kind of life we want for ourselves.
We are all unique.
We are all here on this Earth, alive and breathing.

I tend to root for others more than I root for myself. I believe in others more than I believe in myself. I have faith in others more than I have faith in myself.

But starting today, I am going to try to change that. I am going to try to give myself the same unwavering faith that I give to everyone else.

I hope you decide to do the same.

<3 Madison

Your soul is rooting for you. Believe in your path.

I've sort of strayed from writing this week (Sorry! I'm here now!) because I stay away from my blog whenever my thoughts and feelings are all over the place to avoid writing something melodramatic.

And my thoughts and feelings have definitely been all over the place this week. It's one of those weeks where every time you lie down at night, you either end up crying, sleeping with a stuffed animal (or a real one!), lying awake for hours, having a nightmare, or all of the above.

My soul has just been under a little rain cloud lately. And I've been extremely resistant and hormonal.

But the other day, I read a tweet from one of my favorite writing buddies and it definitely came at the right time. It said, "Your soul is rooting for you."

This same writer (Her name is Keltie Colleen. I've mentioned her several times before.) wrote a blog post last week titled "Believe in Your Path." It also came at the right time because some new and unfamiliar territory is coming up in my writing journey and I've sort of been freaking out...

"I hope this works out! What if I fail? What if I'm not good enough? What if I get turned around AGAIN and end up right back at square one? What if no one believes in me? WHAT IF I DON'T BELIEVE IN MYSELF??"

And the worst part is that I haven't even entered this new territory yet.

I want to share an excerpt from Keltie's post, "Believe in Your Path" ~

It's so bizarre how sometimes our mind doesn't agree on our life path. 


I try to remember:


You might not look the way you want.


You might not be all the things you want. 


People might not believe in you the way you wish they would.


But you are alive.


You are here for a reason.


The streetlights will turn off tonight.


Eventually you will fall asleep. 


And tomorrow will be another day where people's words could break your heart or change your life. 


And you never know which it is going to be. 


You have to believe in your path.


Even when it gives you every reason not to. 




Pretty epic hit of inspiration, right?

You will get discouraged. You will wonder what the hell you're doing or if you should just give up. You will get your feelings hurt by people who don't believe in you. You will obsess over the destination and forget about the journey. You will encounter obstacles and experience fallbacks. The little devil on your shoulder will tell you you're not good enough. You will have horrible days and swear it's the end of the world.

But your soul is rooting for you...It is always rooting for you, even when it's under a rain cloud. You have to believe in what your soul is telling you. You have to believe in your path.

<3 Madison

p.s. If you love the excerpt I shared from Keltie's blog, you should "like" her Facebook page --- http://www.facebook.com/keltiecolleendance?sk=app_216924904991602&app_data=dlt OR sign up on her website --- http://keltiecolleendance.com/ and you will receive weekly motivational moonbeams (inspiring nuggets of wisdom and inspiration like the one I shared above) and a whole bunch of other inspiring goodies, including a free chapter of her amazeballs book. I could really use those motivational moonbeams right about now and I can't wait to start receiving them.

Happy Friday :-)

Ouch..

I had another dream about you. I woke up to my dark, empty bedroom and felt like I had been turned completely inside out...Like all of my insides were suddenly exposed and vulnerable. My heart is literally burning. It would make sense for me to write a lyric right about now, but I don't feel poetic enough. I don't want to think about what rhymes with "fire" or "exposed" right now. I just want to make sure I clutch my arms across my chest tightly enough so I don't peel apart. I want to just lay it all down and fall back asleep. 

I wrote this in my journal the other night around 3 a.m. I was debating on whether or not I should share it because it's so personal, but then I remembered, Duh. Everything I share on this blog is pretty personal anyway.

I assume we all have moments like this from time to time. 

You lose someone and it hurts like hell, but you keep moving and the wound slowly closes up over time. Then just when you're sure you've moved on and you're okay, you have a dream about them...Or hear their favorite song on the radio...Or drive by the place you used to spend time with them at...Or stumble across an old photo or something else that reminds you of them. And then it all comes rushing back like a cement truck and completely plows you down. 

And for a split second, you might consider moving to Jamaica. Or repeatedly banging your head against a brick wall. Or sucking down an entire bottle of Vodka...or maybe bleach. 

But you don't do any of those things because you know the moment will pass you by and fall behind you---just like every moment eventually does. 

And then you will be okay. 

<3 Madison 

Self-love epiphany

I had an epiphany last night. I've kinda sorta heard of it before, but it didn't really sink in until last night while I was comparing myself to someone else and berating myself for not being as cool as her.

I can be really mean to myself sometimes. No one has ever hurt me as much as I've hurt myself. No one has ever torn me down as much I've torn myself down.

I call myself names. I judge myself. I compare myself to other people.

But WHY? I'm supposed to love myself. I'm supposed to nurture myself. My well-being and state of mind should be my first priority, yet I am still mean to myself on a pretty regular basis.

And it got me thinking....Would I ever dream of treating the people I love the way I treat myself? NO. Because I love them. I want them to feel happy and encouraged. I want them to feel good about themselves. I want them to know that I love them and I want to express that love.

Would you call your family members, friends, pets, or love interests the names you call yourself? Would you completely rip them apart and make them feel about as big as a speck of dust?

Then why do it to yourself? You don't deserve to be treated that way any more than your loved ones do.

We absolutely have to give ourselves some credit, you guys. It is miserable and exhausting to make mental lists of everything that is supposedly wrong with us.

There will be days when we get angry at or disappointed in the people that we love, and there may even be days where we kind of hate them a little. But at the end of the day, we will still see them as someone we love and care about, despite what they did to disappoint us.

So it's only normal for you to feel disappointed in yourself sometimes. It's normal for you to occasionally question whether you really love yourself at all. But at the end of the day, you need to realize your self-worth and believe that you are a lovable human being.

So today, I propose a challenge. Treat yourself with the same love and respect that you give to your family, friends, pets, and love interests.

The people who care about YOU wouldn't want you being mean to yourself anyway.

<3 Madison

Mind = Blown

I've been considering writing this post for awhile now, but I didn't want people to think that I sounded conceited or anything. Like "Oh my God, thank you so much for exposing my article and helping it get all popular."

But I just wanted to write more about my first article on MindBodyGreen (http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3986/10-Things-to-Remind-Yourself-on-a-Daily-Basis.html) and I wanted to thank everyone again for all of the positive feedback.

It is STILL getting a lot of exposure and people are still tweeting me to tell me how much they love it and people are still leaving comments on it and it has been the number one traffic source to my blog for weeks.

It makes me overwhelmingly happy to see how much it has affected people because it is actually a lot more personal than it sounds. I realized all those reminders during a crucial turning point/healing period in my life. Pretty much everything I learned that pulled me out of that dark hole I was living in can be found in that single article. And I'm just so glad that all those reminders have the same effect on other people that they had on me.

I just feel like I made a positive difference in all of these people's lives (or simply made a difference in their day) and that is something I feel really good about. It makes my heart happy.

So thank you for reading it. Thank you for sharing it on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, etc. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for printing it out and sticking it on your refrigerators or hanging it up in your homes and offices.

I definitely hope to continue sharing my stories and life lessons with the MBG community because you guys are freaking awesome. So stay tuned.

<3 Madison

Stop the madness!

Hey, wanna know a secret? You have a mind of your very own. 


You have the power to decide what you're passionate about and what you're not passionate about, what you like and what you don't like, what you believe and what you don't believe, what you agree with and what you disagree with, etc.

Hey, wanna know another secret? This is your life. 


You have the power to make your own decisions, think for yourself, live and grow at your own pace, and live in alignment with what feels right to you as an individual.

So now I just have one question....WHY IS IT SO FREAKING HARD TO DO THESE THINGS?

I'll tell you why. Because we're living in madness. It's all around us. It's constantly driving us all crazy and making us question ourselves and influencing every decision we make. It's slowing us down and preventing us from living the life we were born to live. 

The problem is that we're living by an unwritten (and non-existent) list of "supposed to's" that have been passed down from generation to generation.

Do you feel obligated to live a certain way, look a certain way, or be at a certain level because of your age, your job, or anything else? Are you living life by your own rules or are you living life by this unwritten set of "supposed to" rules?

While you consider the answers to those questions, I want to pass along a piece of wisdom that I try to live by...Before making a decision, ask yourself: Am I making this decision for me, or am I making it for someone else?

It can be easy to confuse the two because your brain can easily convince you that you want what you think everyone else wants you to want. (You might want to read that sentence again. It's a mouthful.)

But your gut knows the difference.

Stop the madness, and stop dimming the brilliant light that lives inside of you.

<3 Madison